Dildo
Big and strong and thick and long
Doesn’t have a lot to say
Doesn’t try to pay my way
Actually quite a bit like you

My new lover’s always ready
Since we’ve started going steady
Just as skillful in the sack
Also, I can turn my back
A love that will endure for all time

Aren’t you jealous of our bliss? You 
Ought to be, I barely miss you
Maybe someday you’ll become good friends

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© Odor of Pears 2004, Rev: 02/15/04